Monday, December 26, 2005
merry merry xmas..lonely lonely xmas
i hope everyone had enjoy their xmas yesterday? haha..firstly..wanna wish everyone a very very merry xmas and a happy new year!! haha..although the actual xmas over le but doesnt mean u have to stop happying!! keke.. enjoy the remaining of ur holidays k?haiz..sad to say i cant say the same for myself..xmas for me was again spent at home..still remembered last year also like tt..whole day stayed at home..to be honest i reli dun like this wor..not that i dun like my home and my family..but cuz im always home alone and my family usually go out until nite den come back..last year made a promise to myself that this year i wun spend the xmas alone again...i wanna spend it wif frens and hopefully wif someone i treasure..but den..it looks like the promise is broken again ba..haizwas actually gonna blog yesterday de..about xmas and all that..but den got into this window den reli no mood ( wats there to blog abt being home alone on xmas day? )..so gave up blogging yesterday..haiz..very jue2 wang4 for me ar..=( sob sob..woke up yesterday and den actually decide to go out de..but den no company ma..so no choice in e end return home lo..as usual e house was empty..so last resort maple lo..i tot maple can be addictive enuf to drown my unhappiness..but den to my surprise..this is my 1st time in 17 years to play any game so reluctantly..i mean..being a guy gaming shud be most fun..but yesterday was reli bad for me ba..even if my physically being is playing maple..my mind is still thinking about stuffs..haiz..i guess when a person is alone he will hu2 si1 luan4 xiang3 ar..=( but no choice la..so my xmas was spent in maple land this year..reli nothing to comment le..heard from frens that it was reli fun outside though..the count down and all that..didi told me that orchard was reli bad (expected la) but he went for the explanade one..he say not as bad as orchard but quote from him "u look in any direction can easily count 50 pple..any direction" haha..hey didi i hope ching is alrite? heard from shu that she was actually gonna go orchard there..o no if she had gone i think she wud reli be gone by now..lol! han and seng was there too! haha same thing from them la..reli soooooo crowded lo..until u can hardly move..and squeeze until for pple fall de leh..haha..so chaotic... o yar inn was there too but wif different group la..haha..how was it inn? o yar and i believe she had a good shopping spree in hong kong rite? keke..anyway i guess i was lonely ba so needed company..that's y go around asking pple how was their experience outside..needless to say i envy them wor..i hope i wasnt a nuisance to everyone out there? sorry sorry 4 my disturbance...heard from maine also that spraying was reli power in orchard..they anyhow spray one lo..haha...so fun la! and dunno 4gt who tell me that all the bengs purposely spray all the gals..so bad hor? nese went to her fren's house and play..quite fun also o! at least no need squeeze wif all the pple..actually spending xmas wif frens also quite cosy ma..not bad..i like it=)well..all these made me wonder if asking to love and be loved back is too much..maybe it is too much for me ba..haiz..all i wan is someone..that's all..i dun care if i flunk every subject or be left penniless..but well..suan le ba..i hope..and i reli hope..next year's xmas..haiz..can be spent wif pple..santa o santa..if u can hear me..i hope i wun have to be home alone again on 25th dec 06..for fame and riches i do not need..but care and concern from pple indeed...enuf abt xmas le ba..following xmas is new year..and den a whole new year will step in le..haiz..once again it is the time of the year where i reflect on the things that happened throughout the year.. hate to admit it but reli..time pass us by sooo fast...it seems like yesterday that i graduated from riverside..and was choosing PAE and JAE and discussing wif frens.. comparing who go which JC or poly.. it seems like yesterday that i went for prom nite and had the best nite in my entire 16 years of life..and went to alloy's house to stay overnight..it seems like yesterday that we were all rejoycing over the finish of O levels..and was letting our hair down like it was e end of the world..those were so much fun..haha everyone was talking abt burning textbooks and all that..it seems like yesterday that we all cried about our separation..cuz each one of us went into different schools..haiz..miss my frens and all that..but we all noe the chinese proverb that says there is no party that never ends..=( and it seems like yesterday when i finally got in pioneer for 1st 3 months and was so crazy in orientation 1 and ponning classes and all that..freedom!! haha..but today came so fast and in a twinkle of an eye a year had passed..so many things had change..some good and others bad..i had spent a year in pioneer junior college.hmmm..this year is so different..experiencing the college lifestyle which is so different from sec sch in some ways but same in others..academic wise it was not so different cause we still have homework and we still had regular lessons unlike those pple in poly who can start sch as late as 10 o'clock and end as early as 2? haha..it was still regular hours in college..8 to 5.. but college is different from sec sch in the social aspect..pple r more different and they come from all over..as in a lot of different sec schs together so u see pple of all sorts of character..some may like this kinda and some may not be comfortable..haha..and so many things had changed lo..my frens..those in innova..those in nan yang..those in anderson..those in poly..they changed so much throughout the year..so different already..mixed feelings in my heart..cannot say that this is bad la..but juz no longer like b4..i hope we can still stay in touch? i reli cannot imagine the day when we lose all contact and im left at the corner of loneliness in the world..omg.. im thinking too much again le..i reli miss u my frens! >.<>
of cuz there r good things that happened this year..i feel that i have changed also..but i noe a lot of nice pple in PJ..vion..=) omg i wud regret so much if i hadnt known her..haha..S12 pple 1st 3 months and S18 peeps...haha u all quite fun ar..happie happie!! and lynn..mei mei..ping..ying..haha o and jess..how can i 4gt abt u? haha thanks for everything throughout the year o! haha..i wud like to make new frens but at the same time keep in close touch wif the good old ones..
i noe few pple wud read until this part..cause i understand that this entry getting very long..cause this may be my last entry for the year le..will be busy from tomorrow onwards attending OGL camp and going out this week..so i think the next time i blog will jolly well be 2006 le..wanna make a conclusion to myself for 05..haha..
o yar and one more thing...my blog turned 1 year old le..haiz..last year during this time started this blog to set away a little space of my life to put away my unhappiness beneath the happy mask that i wear..and cuz of her...keke..so fast also a year le o! i hope ur happy ba..it's ok..it's reli ok..as long as ur happy..
sigh~~ every year this period always feel so down..not good for health o! haha..
and so..to end it all off..have some wishes for the next year..
i hope i can do ok academically..no need straight As..juz good enuf to get by ya noe? im not very concern wif results..can go U den can le..A levels coming le o! i hope i will not get too stressed..haha..
hope i can maintain in contact wif my old frens and even recent ones! pei pei and godmother! le le also o! and drey!..didi!! haha..needless to say han and seng..inn also!! haha..tracey and mei and fang fang! =D..and how can i forget BBSS? mummy!! my 2 daughters and all those in innova o! haha..vion!! thanks vion..im reli touched.. jess!! haha..lynn mei mei and ping! last but not least SBL gang! wah too many to name le..i hope u all dun mind hor i dun list them all out..later list will get v long...haha >.<
ok..guess im ending off le ba..i noe im quite long-winded ar..but juz to sort out my thoughts for me..haha..juz wanna say something to nese here..ur the oni close kin i have in pioneer lol..i hope that u will 4gif me if im too nosey at times? im sorry i juz needed someone there..but i wud like u to voice anything that ur not happy wif lo..im not very observant yar so i hope u can tell me pls..thanks nese..for everything u have given me..reli appreciate them! vion..hope we can keep in close touch ar..>.<>
everyone..hope u all have a happy and smooth sailing year ahead..dunno when will be the next time i come..maybe after orientation? haha..=) cya!!
ShAtTeReD mY bRoKeN hEaRt AgAiN oN » 10:43 AM
